so as i was saying in my previous post, i have a lot to rant about.
first of all, facebook.
it puzzles me, how some people would request to be a friend, and then after acceptance would delete me off the friend’s list. BIG WEIRD. MEGA WEIRD, HUGELY WEIRD.
the most weird part would be, them adding me back again, after deleting me off in the first fucking place! and these SOME people, do it such on a frequent basis, that i cant even be bothered anymore. AND THEN, you have those weirdos who keep on adding you after you have a) politely rejected them when they message you over facebook, or b) simply ignored them. but it is damn annoying, because there you go looking at your notifications and upon seeing a new request, you would be like “ooooooooh, a new friend! wonder who that is!” and that’s when you see this silly face, and you’d be like.. “tch! this again!” i mean, if you would really like to know how i am, how my life is like, and trying to nose your way into my affairs and come up with your own conclusions, then tell me, so that i would include you in my not-so-private viewing off my life. i would make my profile semi-private JUST FOR YOU. YOU DONT HAVE TO ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND THEN DELETE ME OFF AGAIN. IT IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME FOR BOTH OF US. that being said, i know i can just not add the person back, but what can i say, i too am a curious cat. =)
facebook, again.
again, facebook. it is such a tool for a curious cat like me! oh how i lord over this fabulous mechanism of mankind! how hairus hates me being such a curious cat, over other people’s business! but i cannot help myself, i am such a curious cat, that when i put two and two together, an and explosion occurs, and i love being right! it also annoys me when i read some people’s profile and i read pure bull shit, it annoys me how some people can be two faced and you can see it even on facebook. and this miraculous thing that mankind has ever created teaches me new things, and make me find new friends!
exams.
damn this silly papers, i have always thought of myself as an untapped genius (ha! as wati would say, or in her exact words, “kau lawa sangat kaper?” or “aku tak tahu, aku tak nak tahu..” or “look at the face, you see this face?”) and i dont have to study to somewhat do well, but DAMN! this paper is really a blow to my ego, cause i failed it like three times! and the last one was just by 1 mark! i swear, if i dont pass tomorrow, i’ll knock my head against the wall three times!
emotional.
i’ve been very emotional lately, and especially needy, i do not know why. i keep on feeling like there’s something wrong somewhere. i keep on feeling like i am living in somebody’s shadow. it annoys me that he keeps calling his ex-fiancee, fiancee, when it is an EX. i repeat. EX. i wish he would stop referring to her as fiancee, and refer to as an an EX. because it makes me feel second place. and i get annoyed. very annoyed. and sincerely, i hope that i am not second place, but why do i get this nagging feeling that i am? i feel like i am being compared, and that i am not good enough… and i do not like this feeling at all. and all because, of a look he gave when he talked about her by chance one day. it was a wistful look, and i have seen that look before in my ex a long time ago when he was talking about his ex, and look what happened, we’re now Ex-es! like i said, i hate this second place feeling. it doesnt help too since the boy is not much of an expressionist. he doesnt express his feelings, and though i can only guess, i wish he would tell me what he is thinking instead of me guessing… but i could just be reading too much into things.
friends.
i miss Laurie! i miss Haresh! i miss all those silly times that we’ve had together! i wish we could all meet up and be like old times again, where we party together, where we laugh together, and make fun of each other.. i miss all that. i miss fendi, i miss so many people, i miss my boys, wan and egypt, and i wish things hadnt ended the way it did. i had hoped that we could hang out more. wati keeps me sane, but she too is busy holding on to her own life, and i dont want to crash that.
holiday.
i really really really would like to go on a holiday. i keep on saying, soon, soon, soon, but soon never comes and i am so down. i want a break, a real one, where i dont have to think about all these worldly problems, about money, about family, about bills and such. where all i do is just have fun, and rest and relax. for once, i would like to be pampered, and have others think about my needs, and others do the planning whre i would just follow. i’m tired of always planning surprises, i want to be surprised for once, i want to be the one receiving, not be the one giving. i doubt this day would come.
well, there you go, a rant update. it is pretty much sad, but i’ve been carrying this baggage around with me for a while, and it feels good to get off the chest, well some things at least. i’ll try to have a good week ahead, i hope you will too!
xoxo, Shid.
